Random thoughts 10/24: Dope to the Pope

I think it's about time for some random thoughts and the dope to the pope thing made me laugh the other day. Not the whole e-mail. Just the "dope to the pope" part of it. Maybe that's why the pope is so mellow. Maybe we should send some weed to the pope and he will send some good prayers upstairs for us. Prayers like bring Corey Ben home safely and get Zilla home form KC permanently. Easy ones. We wouldn't even ask for world peace. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice. But it's a pretty big favor to ask for and I'm sure God gets asked that, like every single day by millions of people. So, maybe if we are more specific in our requests, we will get what we want. Maybe. I don't know for sure, really. I've never met God. I came pretty close once at ColdStone though. That shit is heaven in a waffle bowl. Fo' rizzle. That makes me think of Snoop Dogg. "Dee Oh Double Gee" Holy shit. I seriously went from God to Snoop Dogg in three sentences. Whoa. My life is crazy like that. Try to keep up the pace. You seriously need to check out this website: http://thebloggess.com/ You might pee your pants from laughing so hard. I recommend reading this at work. It will increase your popularity by, like, 75% for approximately 4 days, then by 50% for 1 day. Hooray! You can now get a lumbar RF! Wait. WTF? How did that happen. I think I work too much. I don't like all this work talk getting into our random thoughts convo.


Also, another website you should check out is my bliggity blog. I have some super cutie pics of the kids up there. Plus, I have a link to the above website as well as my 101 things in 1001 days list. You should check it out. Okay, this bitch from work keeps walking by and trying to read the awesome-ness that I am typing but she sucks serious balls and can't read that fast. Or maybe she can't read at all. She's pretty stupid. And for real stupid. Not just the stupid that you pretend to be to get yourself out of trouble. FUCK! She just fucking did it again. I am going to stab somebody tonight. Maybe it will be her. Maybe not. You never really know around here. Shit can change pretty quickly.

I just checked my email from the VA and I think I may not be out of my contract like I had originally thought. But, for reals. I hate this place a little more everyday. I hate that at 7pm I have to kiss my kids good-bye instead of good-night. Bloo-blah. You've heard all of this shit before.

I hate when people send an email with an *important* alert. Just because you think it's important to tell me that my student loan payment is late, does not mean that you get to put a giant red flag on the email subject line. Maybe I should reply with the amount in my bank account. Then the stupid fucking student loan company will know why they had to send the fucking email in the first place. Prolly not. They are pretty stupid. I hate making my student loan payments. It's bad enough that we had to work for fucking free while we were in school, but now we have to pay it all back. It's like we are working for free for SIXTEEN STRAIGHT YEARS. Sheesh. FML. I need a raise. Or a rich man friend that is super old and is about to die that would leave me all of his millions of dollars. You know what I would do first?! Pay off my student loans. Then I would pay off yours. But I would make you wait a month and then do it. I think it would be kinda funny to watch you sweat a little while you're thinking, "That fucking bitch just inherited a FUCKING BILLION DOLLARS and she won't even help me with my student loans." Then it would eat at you and you would start to resent me. It would strain our friendship. Then I would be all, "Well guess what, ya bitch. I just paid your entire balance. You're welcome." Then we would kiss and make up (cause we always do). Then we would take the day off to watch Friends and play pop-it and make up random statuses on facebook like, "Stephanie hearts Marfan man" and "Tara is suffering from Denny-dactyl" Bwahahahaha! I hate Shara.

ThisisTeidedictatingonnnnnnnn . . . John Smith. HecomesintotheclinictodaybecauseStephanieandTaraaresuperhot&hewantstocheckouttheir . . . hotbodiesperiod. Isn't it strange how when the docs are dictating, they string everything together like it's one giant word but we totally know what they just said? I kinda have to make my brain dysfunctional for a minute, but it usually works. Hmmm. I wonder how many times I've misspelled something. I almost misspelled misspelled. I suck. Seriously though. Earlier I typed "waffle bowl" (it was near the beginning if you have to check) and I typed "bowel" 3 fucking times before I got the fucker right. Bleh. Who wants to think about bowels when they are eating awesome ColdStone from a waffle bowl. FUCK. I seriously did it again. One time, I'm gonna leave all of the typos in place and let you figure out what I meant to say. C'mon! It'll be fun. Kinda like Mad-Libs. If that's what we are doing though, I should send a copy to Shawnta. Cuz that's, like, mine and Shawnta's game.
Alright, my darling loo loo. I had better skedaddle before I get into some serious trouble. Rock out witcha cock out, biotch!

Smootches!

Tara